If it happened to you
by Tashilover
Summary: It's Yako's birthday. And Kanae is determined to give her the best party ever. Even if it means recruiting her two crazy assistants to do it... One shot


A/N: Quick note, this has NOTHING to do with "Butter Knife." This was one of the first fic ideas I had. Hope you like. R/R!

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB

_**Kanae**_

With my gift clutched in one hand and a slight grin on my face, I scan the cafeteria searching for my good friend Yako. It was easy to spot her because many of the other students refuse to eat near her. Lest they lose a hand or finger when that girl swallows down three thousand calories.

Sneaking up behind her, I gently slap the pink wrapped gift on the top of her head.

She flinches, almost a bit too dramatically, and with a mouthful of rice, looks up at me.

"Happy birthday!" I said in a sing song voice as I drop the gift into her hands. The girl looks at the small box as if she didn't understand.

"Uh?" She says dumbly.

"Birthday," I say again, emphasizing on the word. "Geez don't tell me you forgot."

That clueless look on her face tells me she did. How could a _girl _forget her own birthday? I've known couples breaking up because their boyfriends forgot. But of course, Yako has always been the norm. Instead of dwelling on this, I push the gift into her hands again and said, "Open it."

Unlike many others who anxiously rip off the paper, Yako opens her gift rather slowly. Heck, wasn't she happy she got a present? She takes the top off the box to reveal a very nice bottle of perfume inside. "How pretty!" She says with real emotion.

"It smells better than it looks," I said smiling. "Now perhaps you can finally find yourself a guy."

She throws me this "yeah right" look. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," She put the perfume away without smelling it. "So, what do you have plan for today?"

"Plan?"

"Yes. Karaoke, dinner, new clothes," I named off a few things people do on their birthdays. Treat themselves, go out with friends, have _fun? _

"Oh," She said, her eyes darting down to her lap. "Nothing really. I have to go to the office today-"

I huff. "Skip it. It's your birthday Yako! You should be celebrating it!"

At the words "Skip it," she gives me this horrifying look as if that is the worst idea I could ever come up with. I know being a famous detective has responsibilities, but even important people take time off. She shakes her head. "I can't."

"Why not?"

"Because…just because."

She looks away from me again. Something was up. I began to wonder if that office was over working her or was there something bigger involve? I mean, doesn't she plan to do _anything _today? Most people would use today as an excuse to be gluttonous, greedy pigs. Why wasn't Yako?

The bell rang. Yako quickly packs her half eaten lunch (a rarity) and with a grin, thanks me again for the gift and left to go to class.

I stood there confused. Something was definitely wrong. Didn't she want to celebrate? Was she sick? Ever since she obtained the title of "high school detective," she has kept a lot from me. Where she was going, where she had gone, the little bruises she seems to get almost every single day…! I think she works too damn hard. Yes, her grades may not mirror my thoughts, but it's true. She goes there every day, she works these obscure murder cases everyday (which CAN'T be good for the mind) and every so often, I catch her name in the newspaper or on the news.

Slapping my hand on the table, I nodded to myself. I was going to throw Yako a birthday party. She was not going to spend today working.

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB

Skipping school was easier than I thought. My grades are pretty decent, so I can afford to miss a class or two.

Now that I think about it, Yako has never taken me to see this office of hers. I knew where it is because I have walked her to the building but never have actually been inside. Even her assistants, I barely knew their names.

That felt like a kick to the gut. I barely know what my friend does.

If anything, that made me more determined. I will show I am her friend by throwing her the best party she ever had. With that in mind, I strutted up the office door and knocked on it.

"Go 'way," Came the response from inside.

I balked. Is that how Yako's assistants treat their clients when she not there? Perhaps I have the wrong address. I double check. Nope, this is the right one. I knock again.

"Go away," Came the same voice, this time a little more forceful.

I'll be damned if I was turned away this easily. I knock again, louder and harder. Suddenly the door swung open and the face of a very angry man peered down upon me.

With a sneer and crazy eyes, I nearly flinched under his gaze. "What do you want?" He hissed. I almost said "Nothing." Forcing determination to rise up inside of me again, I said, "You're Yako's assistant, yes?"

"Who's asking?"

I took that as a yes and shoved my way inside. I was a short girl compare to him but I can be strong when I need to be. "If you don't have an appointment, you need to come back later," The angry man stated.

I huffed. "Why do I need an appointment? Nobody's here." I looked around the office and saw no streamers, no balloon, nothing that would indicate a party. Either this guy was the world's best surprise party planner or he planned to do nothing today.

That's when I noticed somebody was sitting at the large red desk in front of the windows. It was Yako's other assistant…what was his name again? Niro?

What first struck me as odd, because of the position of the sun, he was only a shadow against the windows. But his greens stood out despite the light and that shouldn't be. Isn't it physically impossible for eyes to glow like that?

What else struck me was the fact that this guy was sitting at Yako's desk. So her assistants are rude and lazy when she's not around, eh? That made me angry.

The assistant, Niro, stood up from the desk and suddenly he had this plastered smile on his face. "Hello," He greeted, coming around to meet me. "You're sensei's friend, Kanae."

"That's right," I said, feeling very creepied out by this guy.

"I'm sorry but sensei isn't here," He passed me, went towards the door. He opened it and held it. "She's at school at the moment and won't be here for another-"

"I know that," I snapped at him. I noticed when I said this, his eyes flashed dangerously for a quick second before going back to normal. "Don't either of you idiots know what today is?"

"New House on tonight," The crazy eyed one said.

"Trash day," Niro said.

I groaned, stomp my feet and said, "No! It's Yako's birthday."

I expected some reaction out of them. A sudden "Oh my god!" panic motion in which they'll take off and buy presents or a "We know" kind of action in which they'll show me the hidden gifts they got her. Instead, both of them shrugged.

"Don't care," Crazy Eyes mumbled.

"Sensei doesn't like us to get over excited."

I felt my mouth drop. Did these two idiots really have nothing planned for today? Not a gift, or cake or song? They're just going to treat it as if it was nothing? "So…what? You guys really aren't going to do anything for Yako?"

The two looked at each other, then at me and nodded at the same time. "Yeah."

I don't think I ever felt so angry in my whole life. As creepied out as I was with this Niro guy, I stomped right up to him, grabbed the door and slammed it shut. I twisted around and point a finger at them and stated, "Now listen here you cheap bastards. Even if Yako didn't want a big party, the decent thing to do is at least acknowledge her birthday! Get a card, buy a cupcake, give her flowers dammit!"

Crazy Eyes stared at me as if he couldn't believe a girl half his size spoke to him in such a manner. Niro looked at me with this amused face as if he couldn't decide if he wanted to hear me out or punch me in the face.

It looks I got through Crazy Eyes. With a hint of embarrassed red on his face, he muttered, "Well…maybe I could get her a cake…"

"That's good," I said, glad to finally have somebody on board. I turned to Niro. "How 'bout you?"

He showed his back to me and went walking towards the desk. "If sensei doesn't want me to make a big deal, then who am I to question her authority?"

"Hey!" I grabbed his arm to stop him. He then turned around so fast, so _violently, _I actually took a step back in fear. I swear this guy was more dangerous than he looks. His polite smile was gone now and even though he didn't seem angry, something told me I should not do that again.

I was still determined though. In a more placid voice I said, "Look…you're Yako's friend, right?"

"I'm her assistant."

Was I suppose to take that as a _no? _"Well, as her friend, don't you want to do something special for her birthday? Because that's what friends do. To do otherwise is…inhuman."

I could see a grin twitch at the corner of his mouth. What did that mean? Was it an inside joke?

"Come on, you monster," Crazy Eyes spoke from behind me. "It's only for today. You can go back to normal tomorrow."

He's making it sound like it's a chore. Is this what Yako has to deal with? Why doesn't she just fire them?

Something about what Crazy Eyes said made sense to Niro because amazingly enough, he shrugged and said, "I guess I can do something nice."

He _guesses? _I swear, everything that comes out of this guy's mouth makes me want to hit him more and more. I wouldn't dare. He might just kill me.

However, I was glad to finally have everyone on board. "Okay!" I slapped my hands. "Yako doesn't get out of school for another three hours. That should be enough time to buy gifts, food, and decorate this office."

Crazy Eyes blanched. "I thought we were only going to buy a cake-"

I stared at him in disbelief. "Only _one _cake? You do realize we're talking about Yako here, right? And besides, like you said, it's only for one day. We might as well go all out."

I could see he was regretting his choice of words. He didn't argue but he looked like he wanted to.

I turned to Niro. "Where is the nearest market?'

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB

The markets near Yako's officer were small, but provided everything I needed. I bought streamers and inflatable balloons at one store, (I wanted to get a helium pump but that proved to be too expensive) flowers from a local family at the corner, a few cheap mixed CD's from the second hand store and I had already ordered the food from a decent beef bowl place. It cost me a pretty penny to order enough for Yako's stomach but I know it'll be worth it.

Her two assistants were quiet for the whole time. Most of the shopping I could have done myself, but I needed somebody to carry the bags. Oddly enough, when I gave a bag to Niro, he would casually pass it along to Crazy Eyes. And in the end, I held two bags, Niro none, and Crazy Eyes, seven.

He likes to scream.

"Okay, it's time for you two to buy Yako a present," I announce after all the accessories been bought.

"What!" Crazy Eyes screamed. "We already got her so much crap! Why do we have to buy her a present?"

I ignore him. "Now, out of respect, you two can go off by yourselves to buy her a present. If you plan to get her clothes, her size is a small 10."

"X-tra large 60, got it." Niro said so seriously, I couldn't tell if he was just joking.

"Uh…right…" I turned to leave. "Be back here within the hour," I threw Crazy Eyes a deep dark look. "_Do not _return to the office. Got that?"

He pointed to Niro. "You should be telling him that. He's the one most likely to leave."

Yeah, just as soon as I'll tickle a sleeping tiger. That guy could kill me if I said the wrong thing to him. Best not to make waves. At least Crazy Eyes can be easily manipulated.

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB

I already got Yako the perfume, yet I felt obligated to get her something else. Heck, I don't know why I felt so generous today. Once Yako had begged me to help her with her studying and I blew her off like a sucker fish. Perhaps it's because this is something she couldn't have prevented. It's her birthday; she deserves to be spoiled.

But what to give her? She didn't wear jewelry often- maybe a watch? Maybe a cell phone keychain? But that is oh so cheap…

Did Yako even like stuff animals? I knew the girl liked food but I wasn't certainly going to give her a food _certificate._

In the end, I found myself at the local bookstore. After rejecting about ten million crappy romance manga, I decided to give Yako a red leather bound journal. I don't know if she is the type of girl to keep such a thing, but I know she's the type to go inside her mind to think. It cost me a pretty penny, but after buying it, I felt rather good.

I was about to leave when lo and behold, guess who I ran into? Niro, the blue suit wearing psychopath. Instead of cringing and running, I smile as gently (and real) as I could and said, "Did you find Yako a gift?"

"I think I have," He said rather happily. I was actually taken back because I was sure he and Crazy Eyes would've ran off by now. I guess you really can't judge people.

Then he showed me the book. It was a children's book and on the cover was a fat pink pig covered in mud. The title read: **Fat Pink Pig, Oink, Oink, Oink.**

"Umm…" Oh god, was he serious? "I think Yako's reading level is much higher than that of a second grader."

"You sure?"

"I'm sure."

He then frowned and looked genuinely upset that his gift fell through. "Damn," He said and threw the book behind his shoulder.

It was an awkward moment because I think he really tried to find Yako something special. I decided to give the guy a break and not badger him on his estranged opinions. "Look, instead of trying to find something Yako might like, find something you think she needs. Like…" I struggled to think of something. "I don't know. You're her assistant, you should know what she needs more."

His face suddenly gave way that told me perhaps he _didn't _know Yako as well as he should. It was hard to tell. This guy only had a few facial expressions: Happy, cheeky, bored, upset, and I was pretty sure of, insanity.

To make sure that last expression stayed dormant, I quickly said, "But if you think Yako will enjoy that book, get it. She'll love it all the same."

"Hmmm…" He pondered away. "A bathroom scale? She probably breaks one every month. New toothpaste? Her breath must be atrocious from all the garlic she eats…"

This guy supposedly worships the ground Yako walk's on? I _had _to ask. "How the heck did you two meet anyway? At a party or school…?"

That bored yet placid expression stated, "A few days after Sensei's father was killed."

_Oh._

Suddenly I didn't want to know anymore. Maybe that's why Yako never told me how she got her assistants; it reminded her too much of her father's murder.

Niro continued. "Sensei took me under her wing because I write fast. She needed somebody to jot down all of her observations and fascinated as I was with her brilliant detective work, I was more than happy to help."

"And you've been together ever since."

"Yes."

"I'm glad," I said with a smile and true affection towards this man. "At Mr. Katsuragi's funeral, Yako refused to talk to anyone. Not to her mother, not to her teachers, not even me. And then straight afterwards at school, she walked around like nothing was wrong. Even when I tried to give my condolences, do you know what she said? _Don't worry about it. _It made me so angry that she didn't want anybody to be upset. I'm glad you were there to help her find her father's murderer. If not…I think she'll still be walking around in that zombie like state."

Suddenly Niro had a new expression on his face: _serious. _He wasn't looking at me but I knew he heard everything I just said. And was he considering my words with all seriousness?

Maybe that's why Yako chose him. Not because he could write fast, but because she could rely on him when she needed to.

"Hmm…I think I got just the thing," He said. Then he left me.

Fifteen minutes later, we all met up again where I said we should. Crazy Eyes had scratches on his face and bitched about how much trouble he went through to buy Yako a nice green scarf. I later heard a fist fight broke out in the women's department and some insane yakuza had punched out four old ladies, frightened the cashier to ring up his purchase, and ran off.

I didn't bother to ask if it was him.

Niro came back with a small wrapped box in his hands and refused to tell me what he bought. "It's a surprise," He said with that sadist look of his and I prayed he didn't buy a scorpion from the pet shop. Because the box had no air holes, I was confident that wasn't it, but I wouldn't put it past him.

We got back to the office in record time. Yako should be here in another half hour. That gave us enough time to put up the 'happy birthday' banner, blow up some balloons and set out the food.

Correction: _Crazy Eyes_ put up the banner, blew up the balloon and set out the food. Niro insisted after all I did, I should relax and drink tea while he supervised Crazy Eyes.

Yako really chose some strange assistants. Good ones, but strange.

With my ear against the door, I whispered to the others, "I think I hear her coming."

I rushed back to the table where the gifts and food were and grabbed a handful of confetti. The door opened and I threw the confetti into the air and yelled, "Happy birthday!" I was the only one who yelled it.

Yako paused at the door, her hand still on the handle. "What…what is this?"

"It's your birthday party," Crazy Eyes growled. "Isn't it obvious?"

She was stunned. Her mouth opened and closed a few times and she seemed unsure what to do next.

"Yako?" I said, still trying to get that smile out of her. "Aren't you going to say something?"

She was shaking. Why was she shaking? Then suddenly, very unexpectedly, tears began to fall from her eyes. "I'm sorry!" She sobbed then turned and ran out.

All of us, even Niro, stood there stunned.

"I saw that going differently in my head," Crazy Eyes muttered.

What the hell just happened?

Ignoring Crazy Eyes and not bothering to look at Sadistic Guy, I ran to follow my friend.

I found her on the emergency exit staircase, quietly crying into her hands. I sat down next to her and as gently as I could, asked, "Yako, what's wrong?"

"I'm sorry," She said, trying to wipe away the still falling tears. "I could see how much work you guys did. With the balloons and food and I probably seem so _ungrateful…_"

"Stop it," I hushed. "We both know you're the most grateful person on the planet. Now…tell me what's wrong Yako. Why are you so upset about the birthday party?"

"It's not the party…it's the birthday. This…" She took in a shuddering breath. "This would be the very first birthday I would celebrate without my father."

_Ah. Oh Yako, my poor friend._

"I thought if I could ignore it, pretend today wasn't today, then it wouldn't hurt so much," She leaned into my shoulder. "And seeing the party just meant I had to finally accept he's gone. He's really gone…" She broke down again.

"Shhh…" I soothed, patting my friend's hair. "It's okay. Cry all you want. Just like that American song, _It's my birthday and I'll cry if I want to._"

Yako giggled sadly.

And she did. We spent the next twenty minutes on that stair case. Yako's cries became small sniffling sobs near the end and when I thought she was all cried out, I said, "It's okay if you're upset that your father isn't here. But I think your father would want you to be happy on your birthday. He wouldn't want you to be upset for the whole day."

She smiled. "Thank you for everything Kanae."

"What are friends for? Now we better get back. I'm afraid Niro will do something awful to Crazy Eyes."

"You mean Neuro?"

"Oh, is _that _his name? Huh…I just gotta say Yako, you have some _crazy _assistants."

"You have no idea."

And I don't think I want to know. Idea or not.

So after Yako washed her face and I helped put on some makeup so her cheeks and eyes didn't look so red, we came back to the party. To my great relief, Neuro didn't kill Crazy Eyes. But the yakuza was sporting a bruised cheek. Not even Yako bothered to ask.

There were more surprises than I had thought to make: other people had showed up. I don't know who called them. (I certainly didn't)

"Happy birthday," Detective Sasazuka said as he handed over a present to her. "Higuchi and I got a text message from your assistant Akane that today was your birthday. I hope you got everything you wanted."

Yako grinned. "I did."

The party went off better than I expected. Even though the music was old and the food was cheap, I saw Yako enjoying herself. That was the whole point. Though I think it would have been a blast had not the odd tension between everybody been there. Neuro and Detective Sasazuka seemed to have a personal vendetta between them. Crazy Eyes kept his distance from everyone. The computer geek wouldn't shut up about stupid things and kept engaging Yako into confusing, boring conversations. And nobody but Yako and I danced to the music. I felt weird but she seemed to be oblivious to the whole thing. Or perhaps she chose to be oblivious.

Then came the birthday cake. I thankfully ate before the party started, so I wasn't hungry. Unfortunately, it seemed only (oddly) Neuro and I remembered of Yako's infamous appetite. The girl sucked down that cake like it was water, leaving the other three men stare at her in a freakish, hungry way. Their stomachs rumbled for the rest of the party.

Yako loved the journal I gave her, saying I didn't have to get her another present. I waved off her apology. Sasazuka gave her a small flowery jewelry box; Higuchi gave her a high tech memory card and her yet-to-be-seen secretary Akane gave her cute new hair clips. I was anxious to know what Neuro had gotten her but was very afraid. It's a scorpion isn't it?

Even Yako took great care taking the wrapping paper off. As Neuro loomed over with that sickening "I'm-so-evil" grin, Yako acted as if at any moment a giant boxing glove on a spring was gonna come out and hit her.

Out of curiosity, I looked at everyone else around me. They shared Yako's sense of caution and doubt. They kept their distance.

But once again, that weirdo proved me wrong. He got Yako an alarm clock. A pig alarm clock, but it's the thought that counts, right?

"Hee, how cute," She said looking the clock over. "I wonder how the alarm sounds…"

She pressed the button to activate the alarm.

Loud, horrific screaming filled the room. I clapped my hands to my ears as the sound of dying butchered screaming animals echoed off the walls, sending chills down everybody's skin. Then suddenly it cut off in mid squealing and Neuro's happy voice rang through.

"_**Time to wake up Yako!"**_

Stunned silence.

Oh, I was going to kill him. Psychopath or not, _nobody _upsets Yako on this day. I began rolling up my sleeves with full intent throwing myself at this bastard when Yako started laughing. Hard.

I stood there stunned. Tears began streaming out of her eyes as she laughed even harder. "That is so you, Neuro!"

So it was a joke? Everyone else began laughing along too, but in a more conserved, awkward way. No freakin' wonder Yako found this guy. She's just as crazy as him!

The food all gone, the punch all consumed and Crazy Eyes slept in a drunken stupor in a corner, Yako said good-bye to Sasazuka and Higuchi as they left. "Great party!" Higuchi said as went out the door. "Next time, don't invite Neuro."

Crazy Eyes and I decided to take that moment to look the other way. Don't get involve, don't get involve…

"That was a great birthday party," Yako said happily. "Thank you for everything you guys."

"Just don't expect us to do this every year," Crazy Eyes said this pointedly at me. I ignored him.

"Thank you Neuro," Yako said to her freakishly tall assistant. "I know how hard this must've been for you."

He shrugged. "It wasn't that big of a deal…" He then suddenly wrapped his arm around her, pulled her close and hissed. "But tomorrow…we're working overtime."

Honestly, if I didn't know better, that sounded like a threat. But Yako is the investigator, who in their right mind would do something like that? But I have to remember, nobody in this room is in their right mind.

Yako nervously laughed, putting distance between them. I _had _to ask. It was the only logical choice.

Under my breath, I whisper to her, "Are you two dating?"

"What? No!"

"Well why not? He seems to like you."

"It's not like that."

"Wear the perfume I gave you. Make him go wild."

"You're crazy, you know that?"

_Happy birthday Yako._

**The end.**


End file.
